I’d like to think these are the kinds of things that happen to every homeowner, but I think it’s more likely that they only happen to me.
One morning, I had to explain to my coworkers that I was late for two reasons. First, when I stepped into my porch on my way out the door, I saw a squirrel fighting a cardinal in my backyard. So of course I’m going to stick around to see how that shit ends. Who walks away from a battle like that? Not this girl.
Second — following the fracas, which the cardinal won, by the way — I accidentally threw my car keys into my recycling bin when I hefted my bag of plastic over the side.
But because this is an enormous bin, I couldn’t just reach in and grab them off the bottom. I had to dump out the bin, turn it on its side, and crawl all the way into it to retrieve them. Oh, the self-created indignity of it all.
So I arrived at work still dusting myself off and scrubbing out smudges, but having been thoroughly entertained by two of God’s very, very angry woodland creatures . . . and of course my own carelessness in the pursuit of a greener planet.