#1. Wailed by a gangsta on his cell phone in City Center: "I ain't gonna get all gooey an' fuckin' sentimental . . . nah . . . nah . . . Mom! . . . She just talks too much shit!"
(He's got 99 problems but his moms ain't one.)
#2. Wailed by a crusty old man on Hennepin who was ogling young girls: "Where were all you beautiful ladies when I had hair?!"
(Sir, I'm no mathematician, but I'm going to go with: in utero.)