Fright Night / by Courtney Mehlhaff

Way back in 1994, a little movie called "Pulp Fiction" was released. Part of this film centered on Samuel L. Jackson's character, a hitman who had a habit of quoting a passage from the Bible just before he killed people. It's not a direct quote, but it's sufficiently badass and intimidating.

Cut to about 20 years later, when I crashed on a friend's couch on a Saturday night. The downstairs neighbors happened to be having a party that evening. They were drinking and carrying on fairly loudly, but not enough to keep me from falling asleep.

Until about 3:00 AM, when several of the partygoers drifted into the hallway, and one dude decided to do a very enthusiastic and convincing rendition of Sam Jackson's speech right outside my friend's door.

So what I jerked awake to in the pitch blackness in a strange place was this, being yelled ferociously roughly ten feet from my head: "AND I WILL STRIKE DOWN UPON THEE WITH GREAT VENGEANCE AND FURIOUS ANGER! AND YOU WILL KNOW MY NAME IS THE LORD WHEN I LAY MY VENGEANCE UPON THEE!"

Let me tell you, this makes quite an impression. Because I thought I would shortly be murdered in a terrifyingly religious fashion.

My friend heard none of this from the bedroom, but was duly impressed that I had avoided cardiac arrest and/or peeing myself.

This is the kind of houseguest I am -- I bounce back from death threats shouted in the middle of the night and wake slightly groggy but ready for pancakes the next morning.