Butthead / by Courtney Mehlhaff

I was reminded last week of one of my most embarrassing slips of the tongue to date. 

Every Monday morning, my team at work meets to discuss our plan for the week. I typically arrive about 20 minutes before the meeting starts, but on this particular day I was running late. When I got to my building, I rushed to the conference room (wearing jacket, sneakers, backpack) without stopping at my desk.

Thankfully, there was only one other person there (who wasn't my boss). She asked why I was so frazzled. I told her my bus had taken forever, and I didn't know why.

Then, what I MEANT to say was, "Usually by 9:30 my butt's in my seat."

However, in my hurry, something got scrambled between my brain and my lips.

So what I ACTUALLY said was, "Usually by 9:30 I'm in my butt."

At that exact moment, one of my other coworkers sailed into the room, just in time to catch the last bit of the sentence. She sort of looked at me, looked at my other startled coworker, and in one swift movement turned and walked out. Like "I saw nothing, I heard nothing."

I was left in tearful laughter, trying to explain myself but failing. I just can't account for everything that comes out of my mouth. And in the end, I think we're all better for it.