A Streetcar Named Revenge / by Courtney Mehlhaff

On my drive to work a couple weeks ago, I was stopped at a light. I watched a huge group of pedestrians amble across the street in front of me. When the signal turned green, there were still a few stragglers making their way through the crosswalk, so naturally I just waited.

The guy in the car next to me, however, jerked forward and literally gunned his engine, seemingly as a warning to the people blocking the street ahead.

The question I would have loved to ask him is this: What were you threatening to do, exactly? Run them down in cold blood? Because you realize that, even if they happened to be crossing against a light, it's still MURDER, right? Like, there are general traffic laws, and then there's deliberate vehicular homicide.

A friend of mine touched on this topic recently, albeit much less seriously. We were talking about his daughter's ne'er-do-well ex-husband, and I asked if he really hated the guy.

"Well, no. I don't hate him. I mean, he's a person."

I thought this a very considerate, measured, even magnanimous response. Then he added,

"But I could easily hit him with my car."