I would just like to say, as a follow-up to my very first posting, that I am now not the only person to ever lock myself out on my balcony. A good friend of mine (who shall remain nameless, unless he chooses to comment and reveal his identity) managed to do so recently, in much the same way as I did.
However, there were three major differences in this instance:
1. There was no spider involved.
2. He was not scantily clad.
3. Unlike me, he did not need rescuing, since he somehow channeled his inner Houdini and freed himself with the help of some clever machinations and dextrous arms.
Here's the thing, though. Since I wasn't around to witness this event, he wouldn't have had to tell me about it. He could have kept his mouth shut, but he didn't. He admitted it, which I think speaks a lot to his general character, in addition to his general resourcefulness. And now we share a bond that cannot be broken by space or time. Or sliding patio door bars.
Looking back, I probably should have reacted with more empathy and appreciation for his situation when he told me. Instead, I shouted with glee (and may have even done a fist pump) at the sudden validation that I might not be quite as big a moron as previously thought. 20/20 hindsight.
Of course, this could also mean that we're both morons, but I doubt it. With his nimble critical-thinking skills and my ability to yell for help, I firmly believe there is no problem we cannot handle together.