I've Got a Monkey on My Back . . . / by Courtney Mehlhaff

 . . . and his name is Juan Valdez!

Today I saw a van stopped behind a car at an intersection. When the light turned green, the car hesitated to immediately move forward, and the driver of the van went ballistic, honking and gesturing, finally swerving around the car and speeding off like a maniac.

The car in front: "Student driver."

The writing on the van: "Espresso Machines."

Things in life are labeled, people. All you have to do, really, is read.